Before I get started, let me just tell you, I have only a small idea of what I will be writing in this blog. All I know right now is that when I read the word of God and I begin to pray and write in my journal, my pen goes on and on until I have filled pages without even realize it. Often times it turns in to a message that I truly feel is not only for me, but for others as well. So here it goes...
Sometimes, in face to face communication, I find that I have a lack of words. It's like something just comes over me and I do not know what to say. Many times I have walked away, after having had an important conversation with someone, thinking, "I should have said... ___________."
Interestingly enough, this lack of words only happens when it is important. You see, I can chit chat all day long. When I was a child, my parents used to call me "Motor-Mouth" because I just never stopped talking. The problem was that I talked so much that no one ever knew when I really, indeed had something important to say because I was always just chattering on. I have done a lot of sales jobs in my life, and I have no problem talking to you all day long about the product or service I am selling and how it can benefit you. With a cheerful voice, I can leave 30 voicemail messages following up with potential clients in a day, no problem.
When a broken, hurting person comes to me for advice, however, that is a whole different story. (I believe that even as I am writing this right now I am beginning to identify the cause of this paralyzing silence that I struggle with.) You see, the basis for all that I believe to be moral and right comes straight from the bible. I am not saying that I am perfect and that I have never deviated from this holy standard. I am simply saying that I do not base right or wrong on feelings or emotions. Deep down inside I know the truth that I should be telling this person, but I know (or I fear) they don't really want to hear it. I would not be able to live with myself if I lied to them, telling them what they want to hear, so I simply don't say anything.
As a Christian, I have a huge responsibility and privilege to represent Jesus Christ to the world. I have to tell people the truth, so that the truth can set them free. I have to tell that truth in love, so that they will know the love of Christ through me. Sometimes I am so afraid of doing it wrong that I just don't do it. I am not saying that I never speak the truth or that I always find myself paralyzed with silence. There have been many times that God has used me to speak to people. What I am confessing to you is what I am realizing as I type this blog... I need to repent to God for the times that I have allowed fear to hold me back from speaking the words of truth into people's lives.
There are certain people in my life who I know, if I am honest with them, they will hate me. I know this because they have already showed me in the past. Somehow I have managed to silence myself so that I can keep these people in my life. I learned to "celebrate" with them when they are happy, even if what they are happy about is rooted in sin and false fulfillment. Why do I do this? Why do I care more about them "liking" me than I care about the destiny of their soul in eternity? How selfish is it for me as a Christian to keep the truth of salvation to myself so that my friends and family can like me? Jesus did not come down to this earth, live a perfectly holy life in the flesh, endure torture, persecution and death, to be raised from the dead so that my sins may be forgiven so that I would be concerned with making the world like me!
In fact, here is what the bible says will happen when you choose to live your life for Jesus Christ:
"You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved." -Matthew 10:22
"Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets." -Luke 6:22-23
And here is what the bible says about fear and proclaiming the gospel:
"Yet at the same time, many, even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue, for they loved human praise more than praise from God." -John 12: 42-43
"For the spirit of God does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God." -2 Timothy 7-8
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed- a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written, 'the righteous will live by faith.' " -Romans 1:16-17
So here in this blog, I will tell the truth. These words will minister to me and teach me as they are being written. Today I learned that I need to repent from allowing fear to paralyze me from pointing people towards the truth. I need to repent from desiring people to like me more than I desire to lead them to Jesus Christ. Not only will I make this change by writing this blog, but I will commit to speaking the truth in my daily life. I may lose friends and family members. I may be called "judgemental". I will commit myself to speak the truth in love.
Thank You for checking out my first blog! Here I will share what I am learning as I seek God with all of my heart. If you want to know the truth of what God says about your life, join me here in future blogs. If you want to believe that you are already a "good person" and that you do not need to be forgiven for anything, you are also welcome to read these blogs... just know that you might not like me anymore after you read them... and I will have to be alright with that, because I love you with the love of Jesus Christ.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:13
